Whisky Writes

a new neighbour moved in Whisky Portrait
a few days ago
he s really lowering
the tone of the neighbourhood
his master lets him run loose
on the streets during the day
and he likes to stand at his gate
barking at anything that moves
so uncouth
anyway i was outside
for my early morning toilet
and there he was barking away
i wasn't going to poo
with that racket going on
so i went back inside
and poo d on the staircase
it reminded me of the song
robin the frog
he s kermit s nephew
sings

half way down the stairs
there s a stair where i shit

my master tells me these aren t the real words
but we dogs have very good hearing you know
what do you think

 
actually i hate frogs
my master gave me two
it was really really hard work
biting and shaking one of them
until its stuffing started to fall out
my master helped me to kill one of them
he put it in the washing machine
with my blanket and towel
now it doesn t croak when i bite it
so i m pretty sure it s dead
now i can concentrate on chewing the other one

unlike frogs staircases i love
the bottom step is particularly tasty
i think my master wants to keep it for himself
he s always tells me to stop
when he sees me chewing it
it has taken me days of
surreptitious biting
to make much of a dent in it though

anyway i ve been awake for
almost an hour
so it s time for me to go for a lie down

whisky

[530]

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1 comment so far

  1. Dennis Stephenson on

    There is no doubt about it, it is “sit” without the “h” between the “s” and the “i”. Perhaps your “master”/slave should wash your ears out!


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