Phra Ratchaniwet Maruekkhathaiyawan Palace

Going back a hundred years or so Hua Hin was a sleepy fishing village. Then, the then King, King Rama VI, decided to build a summer palace away from the heat of Bangkok. He chose a beautiful location overlooking the sea in spacious grounds

and named his new home Phra Ratchaniwet Maruekkhathaiyawan (พระราชนิเวศน์มฤคทายวัน).

It was built in 1923 and the King first visited the following year.

The palace has three large wooden pavilions on stilts which run parallel to the sea front.

Separate rooms are connected by walkway, with other walkways circuiting around the rooms to allow courtiers and others to move about without disturbing the occupants.

One pavilion was dedicated to the King’s consorts. It’s entrance was guarded by female guards who stood in these niches. The only man allowed to enter was the King himself.

Following the King’s death the palace was abandoned and fell into a state of ruin. It has since been lovingly restored (in the 1970s) to its former glory and is now a popular destination for domestic tourists and for school groups.

Photograph of the interior wasn’t permitted, so there are no photographs from me of the King’s bathroom, with its imported Western porcelain, including a bidet, high flush toilet and enormous bath.

There’s little in the way of furniture in the palace; the King had his furniture transported from Bangkok whenever he visited.

A modest exhibition captured the costumes of the court’s women of the era – all very flapper.

The King didn’t enjoy the palace for long. In fact, he only visited twice; he died in 1925.

[413]

Plern Waan Market

Plern Waan (เพลินวาน) – the name means something like “enjoy yesterday” is – a recreation of an old-style Thai market, with stalls selling old-style goods such as traditional toys, sweets and ice lollies, postcards, nick-nacks and clothing.

There were also places serving “ancient” coffee, which is strong and sweet.

The individual stores and stalls are run independently, but the owner, Pattra Sahawat, vets them to make sure that they’re keeping to the spirt of the place; no Starbucks or McDonalds here.

Like any old-time Thai market, this place has its own radio station.

It’s all rather fake, with astroturf “grass”, concrete boxes fronted with pre-rusted metal panelling and strategically placed old signs.

It’s really the sort of place I feel I should hate. However, I enjoyed myself watching people enjoy themselves – most far too young to have remembered the old markets of this style.

And it seems that the Market is flourishing, because they’re in the process of doubling its size.

This place isn’t on the usual tourist trail. In fact, I didn’t see another pale face in there; though there were a few Japanese and Korean tourists, most of the visitors were Thai

There’s virtually nothing on the Internet about this place in English, and it doesn’t, as far as I know, make it into any English-language guidebook. There is, however, a very modest website about the place in English:

http://www.plearnwan.com/en/home.html

[412]

Problem Solving in Bangkok

In Bangkok, at Sanaam Luang, the large, open ground near the Royal Palace, about 300 people sleep rough every night. The Bangkok Metropolitan Administration (BMA) isn’t too happy about this. You might have thought that they’d be investigating how the problem of homelessness in Bangkok can best be resolved. They’re not.

In the district of Paak Khlong Talaat the traffic congestion is terrible. You might have thought that BMA might be investigating ways to relieve the choked streets. They’re not.

Now, Paak Khlong Talaat houses Bangkok’s largest flower market, so the BMA’s “solution” to both these problems is to turn Sanaam Luang into a flower market. With all the land covered by flower stalls the homeless will have to find somewhere else to sleep, and there’ll be less traffic in Paak Khlong Talaat.

There are a few problems with this apparent stroke of genius:

• Sanaam Luang is used for ceremonies and other official functions several times a year, so would need to be completely cleared for these
• The traffic around Sanaam Luang is already heavily congested. A flourishing flower market could only make it worse
• How will the merchants at the existing market cope with the extra competition?
• What will happen to the homeless?

It seems that the heady floral aroma has already affected someone’s senses.

[411]

No Happy Ending

A young boy in Thailand is an absolute whiz at making paper aeroplanes. It’s his great passion in life. So good at it is he that he won the Thai national competition in 2008 and was invited to compete in the international Origami Airplane competition at Chiba, Japan.

You’d like to think that Thailand would celebrate its young people who excel. However, 12 year old Mong Thongdee (หม่อง ทองดี) was deemed a “threat to national security” by the Interior Ministry and was denied papers to travel. You see, Mong had the misfortune to be born in Thailand to migrant labourers from Myanmar and is considered a stateless person.

Mong Thongdee – a treat to national security

It took the personal intervention of the Prime Minister to persuade the Interior Ministry to change its stance, and Mong has now been granted a temporary passport so he can take part in the event. And, all being well, he’ll go. And I hope he does well for Thailand.

A boy of his skills could perhaps, in the future, be a great engineer or designer. However, Thailand will never benefit from his special talents. He’s on the list of stateless people to be repatriated to Myanmar on 28 February next year. There he and his family will face the tyrannical oppression of the junta faced by others of his ethnic group – a tyranny close approaching ethnic cleansing.

Sadly, this tale will have no happy ending.

[410]

Praeternatural Chaos in Bangkok

This morning I left early, around 6:30 a.m., to get to an hospital appointment. It’s not much fun taking nil by mouth from 8 p.m. the previous evening, so I like to let the vampire nurses drain my blood early in the day. Ten minutes later I found myself stationary. Two and a half hours later I’d not moved. There I was, hungry, thirsty and marooned in a sea of cars. What could possibly have caused this praeternatural chaos? It appears that the rain last night totally overwhelmed Bangkok’s drainage system; 44 areas of town were flooded. The one which was causing my own personal traffic hell was some 8 1/2 km away. I can only imagine the extent of the chaos behind me on the road.

According to Bangkok’s mayor, they can only handle 60 mm of rain, and last night more than 100 mm fell. This resulted in a major junction being flooded to the staggering depth of 10 cm. Quite why this should have totally immobilised traffic for several hours is a mystery. Why the police did so little (a.k.a. nothing) to redirect traffic is also a mystery.

Here’s a ‘photo from Thai Rath newspaper showing the offending flooded intersection:

“And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.”

Genesis 7:19 – King James Version (1611)

The weather forecast is for more rain tonight.

Now, where can I find myself some gopher wood?

[409]

Elephant in a Hole

Elephants are notionally banned from city streets – not that that stops them. (Perhaps they can’t read the signs.)

Unfortunately, the streets aren’t a safe place for a baby elephant, as the following picture shows:

He was eventually rescued unharmed.

[407]

Her Majesty Should be Ashamed

Though having left the UK for good I can’t fully escape the clutches of the UK tax man. Unfortunately, the services provided to non-residents are shoddy (at best). However, they seem to have hit a new low.

Some time ago I sent them a message asking whether or not they had received a form from me. The response included the phrases:

“acceptable levels of customer service while dealing with your enquiries”

and

“We aim to provide a reply within 15 working days”.

Needless to say, they didn’t reply within 15 working days. And when I eventually got a reply, it read:

“Unfortunately, i will not be able to advise you if we have received your claim. We currently have a delay of 14 weeks in processing the R43 forms. Hence, it will not be possible for me to look for your claim. If you have not heard anything in say two and a half months please contact us again.”

(And yes, note the lack of a capital “I”.)

So, it’s take four to five months simply for Hector to say whether or not he has received a form. Goodness knows how long I’ll have to wait to receive the money he owes me.

Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs? She should hang her head in shame.

[406]

Title

It’s important that one knows one’s place in society. To that end Thailand must have one of the more comprehensive system of titles. The following is vastly simplified.

At the top of society is HM The King and his wife, and then his children who bear the title Jao Faa (เจ้าฟ้า).

The grandchildren of a King can bear the title Phra Ong Jao (พระองค์เจ้า).

The next generation: Mom Jao (หม่อมเจ้า).

And then: Mom Raatchawong (หม่อมราชวงศ์).

And finally, at the 5th generation, Mom Luang (หม่อมหลวง).

The child of a Mom Luang is a commoner, but can append “Na Ayutthaya” (ณ อยุธยา) to his surname to indicate royal descent.

Thus, for example, one knows that a former Prime Minister, M.R. Kukrit Pramoj, (M.R. being Mom Raatchawong), was a fourth generation descendant of one of the Kings of Thailand (in his case, King Rama II).

Before the 1932 revolution there were a lot of other titles designating aristocracy, but all were abolished, except for two titles for women – Khunying (คุณหญิง) and Thaanphuuying (ท่านผู้หญิง) – both of which are non-hereditary. However, rather than honouring the woman’s achievements they usually honour her husband. Thus the Prime Minister’s wife will usually become a Khunying (provided her husband stay in office long enough!). The wives of the top members of the military are similarly honoured. Such an honour is apparently not available for the wives of the country’s greatest scientists, academics, sportsmen, writers et al.. It seems that only the wife of a military man has the necessary aristocratic credentials.

The Police and the Military have a host of other titles but, unlike in other countries, the titles are kept after leaving service, so the newspapers still refer to Police Lieutenant Colonel Thaksin Shinawatra, even though he quit the police force more than 22 years ago. This isn’t a particularly high rank, but the question of its being stripped on account of his alleged behaviour remains very controversial.

Every interchange in Thailand requires a conscious decision about the relative status of speaker and listener. It dictates the choice of every pronoun. Am I superior or inferior to the person to whom I’m speaking?

When Indonesia was seeking a language to unite its speakers of a myriad of mutually unintelligible languages it considered Javanese, which had the greatest number of native speakers. However, it rejected Javanese because it has a system of pronouns which denotes relative status. It chose a language which was more democratic, Malay, despite the lack of native speakers. Thus, just as the English language united the Indian subcontinent, so Bahasa Indonesia (as it became to be known) united the Indonesian archipeligo.

Much as we in the West reinforce sexual roles by selecting “he” or “she”, “his” or “her”, in Thailand the language reinforces social status and perhaps, just perhaps, is part of a barrier against social mobility and against social equality.

[405]

Red Cooked Pork

Apologies in advance to my Moslem and Jewish readers, but I have a weakness for belly pork. I love the succulent, fatty cuts. Admittedly, when I child I was rather off-put by noticing the nipple on a particular slice of pork belly, but (thankfully) I’ve grown out of that squeamishness.

One of my favourite dishes in one of my favourite London Chinese restaurants is slices of belly pork braised with slices of yam in a metal pot. The yam absorbs some of the porky fattiness, and the whole dish is suffused with a wonderful coriander taste.

The Chinese refer to belly pork as the “five layers of heaven”; the Thais, a little more prosaically, “three layer pork”, only counting the meat.

Anyway, I came across a recipe a few months ago for red cooked pork which I’ve been meaning to try. The technique for creating caramel is something I hadn’t come across before – rather than heating the sugar in a dry pan, or with a little water (which evaporates), the sugar is mixed with vegetable oil and then heated. This actually worked quite well – the sugar began to brown, then suddenly expanded massively in the oil (returning to white in the process) before (a few seconds later) turning to a toffee-ish caramel. However, without an hawk-like eye there’s a real danger of the caramel burning.

Here’s the recipe (slightly adapted) from http://www.redcook.net :

• 700 g pork belly (I used slices, but a slab would work just as well)
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 rounded tablespoons sugar
• 3 cloves of garlic peeled (not crushed)
• 2 spring onions cut into 4 cm long pieces
• 3 whole star anise
• 2 tablespoons dark soy sauce
• 60 ml Shaoxing wine (I didn’t have Shaoxing wine, so substituted Mirin)
• 300 ml of the water from parboiling the pork, strained
• coriander leaf and spring onions, chopped, for garnish.

Put the pork belly in a saucepan and cover with water. Bring to the boil and then simmer gently for 20 minutes. Skim off any scum that forms on top of the water. Take the pork from the water and allow to cool. Then cut into nice cubes. (I removed the skin, but this is optional.)

Heat the sugar and vegetable oil in a pan over a medium heat until the sugar browns. Now add the pork belly and brown it for a few minutes in the oil/sugar mix.

Add the garlic, spring onion, star anise, dark soy, rice wine and 300 ml of the water from boiling the pork to the pot. Cover, and simmer over a low heat for 40 minutes, stirring regularly. Now uncover, increase the heat and boil for about 10 minutes to reduce the sauce to a nice, thick consistency.

The result is a beautiful mahogany colour – but where the redness comes from is a mystery to me.

(Sadly, I’m no food stylist.)

Serve with plain boiled rice, sprinkled with chopped coriander and spring onion.

Enjoy.

[403]

Shogun Steakhouse

Though Ayutthaya probably has hundreds of eating places I tend to frequent but a handful of them. However, I’m always on the lookout for new recommendations. One such recommendation was a restaurant by the name of “Shogun”, just across from one of my regular haunts. Apparently it’s held in high esteem by a large number of foreigners working in Ayutthaya (which, as it turns out, sadly reflects upon the palates of the aforementioned workers).

It’s a fairly simple place, with a few tacky pieces of Japanalia helping one realise that this is notionally a Japanese restaurant, though any restaurant in Japan serving such execrable sushi would have gone out of business long ago and the owner driven to seppuku. The rice was woefully overcooked and mushy, and the fish sliced to a parsimonious thinness. The eel in some of my pieces of sushi was still frozen. And whilst in some parts of the world frozen eel sushi might be appreciated as a delicacy, it’s definitely not when it’s on my plate.

The main course featured the restaurant’s other speciality: steaks. That said, I’m not sure that it would be fair to call the thin sliver of pork meat hiding under an over-salty black pepper sauce a “steak”. As is the custom in such fine dining establishments the dish was accompanied by a few cold french fries and a triangle of toast smeared with marge.

Rarely have I had such a hard time keeping a straight face whilst dining; the experience was so pathetic as to be laughable.

[402]